WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
