Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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