A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
