Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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