OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
