i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
