Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
