Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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