Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
