I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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