i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
