I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
