he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
