She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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