her vagina looked like bernie madoff
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Randomize
