I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
