Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
