you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
