I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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