Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
