Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
