if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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