Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Pants are for mortals
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
