she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If that was your dad, he is hot
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Randomize
