It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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