I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
