3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
