I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
