meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
