this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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