Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
