When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
