We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
