fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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