nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
