I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
