Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
