it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
