Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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