No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
