R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
