I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
