Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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