yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
