honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
