3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
