Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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