I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
