Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
