i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
