Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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