Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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