I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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